obligations are so passe.

happy one year to me and adam.

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 03:44:58 GMT

I've moved?
it was time for a...change.
metamorphosed

I've added everyone, I believe. if I forget someone, let me know.

thinking, that's all....

Fri, 29 Oct 2004 03:05:13 GMT

Up until, oh, say...probably even as late as sophomore year, we still had the childhood mentality that we were almost immortal.

It used to just be things that I read stories about, in magazines, newspapers, etc...now it's common among my ...friends? acquaintances? some I don't even know what to refer to them as. "Fun" turned into crimes, what seemed as small risks turned into complete life changing events, stories turned into evidence, threats turned into jail time.

we thought we were untouchable.

right now, the world just seems too big.

Fri, 22 Oct 2004 17:33:50 GMT

life as of late :

- almost positive I'll get into any school I want.
scholastic aptitude tests, I love you.
- decided on a major.
- philly, philly, philly.
- grades are perfect.
- boyfriend is wonderful.
- getting a puppy, possibly.
- john kerry all the fucking way.

feeling pretty damn good.

philadelphia, how I love you so.

Fri, 08 Oct 2004 03:17:49 GMT

I haven't been very consistant with writing in this but these things happen. I wanted to make this how it used to be but I guess...I can't anymore?

I miss my dog.

We finally went to Starlight Ballroom tonight in philly. THIS PLACE IS IN THE GHETTO. And I'm not exaggerating at all. I was fucking ready to piss my pants when we got out of the car. Waling down the street, we saw a fenced in barbed wire area with black men working out. Scariest fucking place ever.

Oh it was the rock gainst bush tour, strike anywhere, midtown, etc., etc., didn't stay for anti-flag. Nice venue once you were inside, nice kids, awesome sets. Overall a good time.

OH and I finally got a fucking job - at the Disney Store. I'm AWESOME.

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 13:50:14 GMT

At 9:04 AM this morning, Cinnamon stopped breathing while he was in my arms.

rest in peace - you know you will be missed more than I could ever say.

I feel like I've lost my best friend.
I don't know what to do with myself.

livejournal is my favorite form of procrastination.

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 01:43:08 GMT

For some reason, the use of actual full paragraphs seems entirely unattainable.
(i'm a decent writer, sure. ha.)

Honestly, I pretty much want to skip senior year and have the whole college application process done with...the only positives of this year so far are new friends (hellllo mike!) and the fact that I get out of school at 12 o'clock.

The only recent thing I can remember..last night I went out with Sio and Mike, we met up with Amanda(one of my new favorite people haha) and Ian and then we went to some beat ass party in seaside and left after about 10 minutes. Went to the diner with some more kids and Adam came and that's basically all you can do in Toms River.

So many good shows coming up, there hasnt been this many good shows in a row in like 2 years.
I will be attending these!
so for the 90% of you I haven't seen in oh, say, a year! let me know whats up.

10/7 at starlight ballroom, philly - midtown, strike anywhere. where the fuck is this place?
10/12 first unitarian - mirah!
10/15 I haven't decided which I want to go to...the faint or the bouncing souls, strike anywhere, and none more black...decisions, decisions.
10/22 starlight - the blood brothers/ against me!

there's probably a bunch more but you know how things go.

my days are productive!

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 02:21:26 GMT

Today Richie showed me the homeless village behind grand union.
The trail was marked off with beer cans.
I saw a fat lady in a teal blue shirt hobbling around.

ahaha. classic.

HEY LIVEJOURNAL! @#()$!

Mon, 20 Sep 2004 00:57:24 GMT

I don't really write in this thing anymore; I'm not one for things that are repetitive so is there a point? no.

I still haven't visited any colleges, whatever, at least I don't have to stay here for OCC. I've gotten it down to a list, though...
1.) NYU
2.) Pace
3.) Marymount
4.) St Johns
5.) Drexel
6.) Penn state
7.) La Salle
8.) TCNJ
9.) Rutgers

NYU is my top choice by far, TCNJ my mom is making me apply to, and rutgers is my safety school. I'm just going to apply to all of them and then see which I like best.

A few weeks ago Cinnamon was shaking violently and couldn't walk so adam, sio, phil and I took him to the emergency hospital for dogs and then he had a grand mal seizure. They suggested putting him to sleep but they also could give him medicine to see how he would react, of course I chose the latter...he was doing okay but now it's hard for him to keep anything down. He kept a little bit down today so I hope he'll be alright for a little while. I don't know what I'm going to do.

OH AND TODAY I BOUGHT SEASON ONE OF BOY MEETS WORLD.
amazing!

Sun, 12 Sep 2004 00:52:17 GMT

I wish I could write half as well as I used to.

Sun, 05 Sep 2004 16:56:06 GMT

hey, who wants to make me a layout?

SIOBHAN SCHELL!!

Thu, 26 Aug 2004 04:53:20 GMT

this update is only for sio so if you're not sio you can ignore this

don't forget to feed my dogs and let them out tonight tomorrow and friday morning

spanky better not have eaten my hamsters

oh and feed my birds too and give them fresh water :)

comment back to this and let me know how things are at home!

Sun, 22 Aug 2004 15:42:45 GMT

I leave today for the Bahamas.

If anyone needs to reach me, text me, etc....you know where to find me.
and, well, if you don't...look about 3 entries back.

See ya.

so let go, let go, just get in..

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 13:29:00 GMT

oh, and I've seen garden state twice already (once like two weeks ago before it came out, once here) and it's quite possibly one of my favorite movies ever.

Sun, 15 Aug 2004 15:51:02 GMT

who left a message on my phone that said

"I'M IN TOMS RIVER, PICK UP YOUR PHONE!"

??

to whom this may concern?

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 05:46:11 GMT

I will actually be attending warped tour tomorrow (today?) in camden, so if any of you cool kids want to meet up, you can call my hello phone (732 232 2218) and yeah. Most of the time I don't get service but if you leave a message and shit and a number I'll call you back. kay.

hello kids.

Wed, 04 Aug 2004 17:51:33 GMT

I"ve started this entry 6 times now.

I don't really feel like updating this but-

1.) I think I go to target about 5 times a week
2.) my days have all been spent with adam and sio
3.) today we're going to drive up to maplewood to see garden state
4.) school starts in less than a month
5.) yesterday we decided we're going to go to warped tour this year for the first time since freshman year because it's going to be fun, it always is
6.) ehhh that's about it, people should come down here and stay at my house and visit me and shit okay bye.

maybe I'm just being melodramatic here...

Tue, 27 Jul 2004 04:51:07 GMT

but, when it comes down to it...I really am fucking miserable.

Mon, 26 Jul 2004 03:27:39 GMT

ehhh today we drove up to hellfest and then adam sold his ticket because well...most of the bands sucked and it would be a waste of my $30.

so we went shopping instead.

wednesday we're going to maxwell's and then to mi padre's house and then shopping and shit.

people are SKETCHY and I really don't like them [anymore]
yeah whatever shit happens and people become assholes but what are you gonna do.

these updates are terrible & my summer is repetative though I love it

ps if I havent seen you in like a year make plans with me!

Tue, 20 Jul 2004 05:12:15 GMT

ehhh. things. a few philly trips. midtown. adam, sio, ray. new people. couldn't get on the bridge. got lost...bristol? 7-11.

I have an ongoing battle with this livejournal layout shit and I'm not winning.

people are shady and I'm not a fan of it - ps; I don't need friends who only talk to me when they need something.

I need to make plans with people.

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 05:52:18 GMT

really, I want to live in arcade land 24/7...but that can't happen.

adam ray me and sio are going to philly tomorrow to see LOSTPROPHETS
okay well, not really, midtown's on the show and that' all we're going for
that's all we do
i have no money because I dont get paid til saturday
my car won't stop eating gas, maybe I shouldn't put 13000 miles on it in 5 months

yeah so everyone hates everyone and I'm tired of this shit people are so fucking immature

whatever thats how these things are
2 updates in 2 days is a little too frequent for me

for no one specifically

Tue, 13 Jul 2004 02:30:21 GMT

summer = work, forget what you know, mt misery, people.

today I went to the pet store because I wanted a hamster because peanut died on friday :( ...there was baby ones there and I noticed one was dragging it's back legs around so I bought it because it's the cutest hamster I've ever seen and I wanted to save him! I would post pictures but I'm stayign at Adam's and the hamster is at home.

the only people I like hanging out with anymore are adam, sio, ray, richie, and corrie...it kind of stops there. oh and phil but he's always working too.

corrie adam and I went to south street sunday and I bought shit.

the other night adam ray me and sio went to mt. misery and I hid under a blanket the whole time 'cause I'm a pussy. ray showed us the gravestone there and I almost peed myself, god I hate that place but I keep going back.

forget what you know is the only CD i play in my car anymore
true

people always visit me at work and it makes me happy and then I give them toys like switchblade combs...come visit on tuesdays because they're the best days.

adam has all this gay music on his computer like pg 99 and all those bands I listened to for like a week
he also has good shit on here though
it's okay either way because he's awesome

i read some book the other day and it was really good but I don't remember what it was
oh yeah the accident
elie wiesel

anti-punctuation

bad squishy

it feels like this is all just getting so old.

Mon, 12 Jul 2004 03:46:39 GMT

someone make me a goddamn layout and I'll give you a dollar.

Sun, 04 Jul 2004 21:00:33 GMT

okay I know SOMEONE will wind up at seaside boardwalk tonight

I work 6 to close at sonny's and rickey's arcade

so VISIT ME! you get free candy!

Thu, 24 Jun 2004 04:50:59 GMT

I can't write in here anymore, or at least, I can't write anything substantial. I don't want to turn into one of those Palahnuik-esque clones who speak in washed out cliches because we all know there's enough of those around.

It's not that I'm unhappy, I just feel like right now I'm not at where I need to be; I've said it before but now it's more profound. Maybe it's because it's my summer of junior year, my last real summer, and it's just hitting me that in less than 7 months, I will be a legal adult. In the next year, I'm going to be faced with some of the most important decisions in my life and I don't know how to choose.

This is the last year I have with my friends. Chances are that in 10 years I'll barely know any of them. All that keeps coming into my head is that we all grew up too fast, and there's no rewind button - you can't go back and rewrite anything as much as you'd like to.

whatever. somehow I still convince myself that writing in these little fucking boxes is going to make things better. right.

Fri, 18 Jun 2004 03:01:35 GMT

everything seems to always come back around, full circle.

the ones who have been there since the beginning will always stay, while others fade out or drift away. this is most likely the most important lesson I learned my junior year(and that of course was outside of class).

next, senior year.
(what to expect, I can't even fathom...)